


Twas the Night of the Krampus

by AnnieVH



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Children, F/M, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 00:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10321505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieVH/pseuds/AnnieVH
Summary: While half the family is out fighting off a Krampus, the other half is trying to keep the children from starting a war with each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a silly, light-hearted Christmas story that has a little bit of canon, but a lot of head-canons. It was written as a gift for Maddie and we came up with these couples and children together. So that no one is confused, here are the children's parentage and age:  
>  _Wendy and Mary (4) are Neal and Tinker Bell's twins.  
>  Lilah (4) is Emma and Killian's daughter.  
> Chip (8) is Rumple and Belle's first son, Gideon (5) is their second.  
> Roland (8) and Neal (5) are their usual adorable selves.  
> Henry is around 20 at this point._  
> For my personal head-canon for Chip, you can click [here](http://annievh.tumblr.com/post/72277386822/chip-picspam-drabble-one-morning-the).  
> In case you want visual references, ask Maddie for her casting. It's spot-on.

“What's a Krampus?” Neal asked, searching his mind for magical creatures that might have been mentioned in his childhood, as well as for the names of every Disney villain he could remember, but coming up empty.

Belle was the one in the circle to explain, “It's the opposite of Santa Claus, basically. He comes to punish children who have been naughty. Usually, by eating them.”

Neal looked beyond her and into the Charmings' apartment, where a small group of toddlers was being supervised by Henry. He was holding on to Lilah, lifting her up in the air repeatedly, making her laugh. Wendy and Mary were sitting near the stairs with Gideon and little Neal, playing dolls. Chip and Rolland, always the quiet ones in the group, had distracted each other with a new book that Belle had given her eldest son, but the Blue Fairy was keeping an eye on the two of them regardless.

“I say we have nothing to worry about,” Tinker Bell said, reading Neal's thoughts.

Emma scoffed. “ _You_ don't.”

“No!” Mary Margaret said, her husband nodding in agreement, ever the doting grandparents. “C'mon, _biting_ is not a reason to be eaten! Lots of children do that!”

“That thing has broaden its definition of misbehavior over the centuries, dearie,” Rumple informed her. “If they've refused to eat their carrots once, that beast is coming for them.”

“That's absurd!” Neal said. “What is it with monsters and eating children?”

“I'll make sure to ask him when I kick his teeth in,” Emma said. “Regina is already tracking that thing down with Robin and Killian. You guys just make sure the kids are safe.”

“At least take my dad,” Neal told her. “He's the most powerful among you, isn't he?”

“Not that Regina will admit to it, but yes. And that is why I want him here. If the Krampus makes it this far, he can turn it to dust.”

“Snail,” Rumple said, making Emma turn to him. “If it gets anywhere near my boys, I'll make sure to turn it into a snail and squish it with the sole of my shoe.”

“Dad...” Neal started, planning on telling him that he shouldn't look this happy about the prospect of murder, at least not on Christmas Eve.

Tink said, “I think _snailing_ sounds like the appropriate response to someone trying to eat our kids.”

Rumple smiled at his daughter-in-law. “Well, it's nice to see that at least _one_ fairy uses her brain.”

“We'll keep them safe, Emma,” Neal promised. “Don't worry.”

“I know, but, uhn...” Emma said, as the rest of the grownups went back inside. “Can you keep the rest of the family from, you know, throwing fire balls?”

Neal surveyed the room. Mary Margaret and David had returned to the kitchen to tend to the food. Belle and Rumple had found a comfortable chair to share. Tink was checking in on their daughters. As long as his father and the Blue Fairy kept their interactions to a minimum, there shouldn't be much drama.

The children, though, that was something else entirely.

“I... will do my best.”

“That's all I ask. Lilah!” she called, making her daughter look up. “Be nice to your brother.”

“Okay, mommy,” she said, sweetly.

With a bit more emphasis, she added, “And to your friends!”

“ _Okay_ , mommy.”

Emma looked at Neal. “I apologize in advance.”

“Stop it, Emma. They are lovely little girls, our son is keeping an eye out, and they'll be fine.”

“Right. Okay.” She nodded. “Time to hunt the Krampus.”

Neal closed the door behind her and Tink and Blue used their wands to seal it. Rumpelstiltskin reinforced their spell with a snap of his fingers.

“Guess we got the easy part,” Neal said to his wife. “Bunch of kids, Christmas dinner-”

“You think coordinating dinner and making sure the kids play nice will be easier than dealing with the demon Santa Claus?” Tink asked, skeptical. “Honestly, I wanted to join the hunting party.”

“It can't be that bad. Staying inside, where it's warm, and look at that, is that a mistletoe?”

Tink looked to where he was pointing.

“We're not underneath it.”

“I need an excuse to kiss my wife, now?”

He'd barely leaned in when Mary Margaret came into vision. “Do you think we should wait for the others to come back and have dinner together?”

“I... don't know. It doesn't really matter.”

“Of course it matters, it's supposed to be a family thing.”

“It's too early to worry about that. Let's just... see how things go.”

“Okay. Did your father bring the cranberries?”

Neal stared at her. “You should ask him.”

“Right. Sorry.”

She scurried away.

Tink gave him an “I told you so” look.

“That is just Mary Margaret being Mary Margaret. The rest of the night is going to go smoothly.”

“Excuse me, Neal, Tinker Bell,” Mother Superior said, coming closer, Belle, Charming and Rumple in tow. “Belle and I were thinking that maybe we should establish some sort of budding system with the kids. You know, so that they don't have to be alone. That way, if that thing manages to get in, they'll be safer.”

“If that thing manages to get in,” Rumple said, frustrated, clearly having explained this extensively already, “all you're doing is providing it with an appetizer and an entry.”

“Dad-”

“Why would you want the kids to go everywhere together? It's not like they can defend each other.”

“Actually, I think Blue has a point,” Tink said. “At least that way we'll make sure they're always together. It's less likely that one of them will go missing.”

“Yes, but...” he looked at the kids, then back at the other grownups and lowered his voice. “It's an uneven number.”

“So?”

“So... who gets the difficult one?”

“Don't call her that!” David said, defensive.

“Yet, you knew who I was talking about.”

“...Yeah, okay.”

“This could be a good opportunity for them to start getting along, you know,” Blue said.

Neal shook his head. “I... don't think that's a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because if the Krampus doesn't get to our kids, those two are definitely going to kill each other.”

“Nonsense, they're lovely little girls. What's the worst that could happen?”

Neal was ready to list the possibilities in alphabetical order, providing examples and a handful of photographic evidence he'd accumulated on his cellphone, but he was not given the chance. Blue summoned the children closer and, rather obediently, they left their toys aside. Lilah came pulling Henry by the hand.

Belle, who dealt better with the children when they were in large groups, was the one to kneel to their level and ask, “Are you guys having fun?”

A squealing choir of “Yes!” was her reply.

“Wonderful! So, while we wait for Emma and everybody else to come back, we're going to play a game, would you like that?”

“Yes!” said the children. Lilah and Wendy jumped up and down in excitement.

“Okay, it's a super fun game. It's called budding system.”

Silence.

“That doesn't sound fun, Grandma Belle,” Wendy said.

“Told you they wouldn't buy it,” Rumple mumbled to his wife, earning a blow in the ribs from Neal.

“Oh, no, it's super fun. You know how in stories there is always a hero? Well, tonight everyone is a hero because you're going to make sure your buddy is always with you and that you're both safe.”

“Against what?” Rolland asked.

Belle blinked at him. “Why, the tickle monster, of course!”

Chip giggled. “There is no tickle monster, mommy!”

“Of course not, because mommy and daddy are keeping it away, but just in case one gets in, you don't want to get tickled, do you?”

She ran her fingers up his neck.

“No!” he giggled, making the other children laugh.

“No, of course you don't. So we're going to watch out of each other, yes?”

“Okay.”

“So, let's see-”

“I want Henry!” Lilah shouted, still jumping excitedly at the end of Henry's arm.

“Okay, Lilah dear-”

“I want Henry because he's a knight and he's strong and he's _my_ big brother!”

“He's my big brother too!” Wendy said, affronted.

“Yeah, but I saw him first!”

“Yes, yes,” Belle said, before they could start a fight. “Henry is going to look out for _everybody_. Won't you, Henry?”

Henry looked at the seven faces full of expectation staring at him. “I... guess.”

“So, instead of you girls fighting over him, how about the three of you get together and become buddies?”

The children went absurdly quiet. Henry's eyes doubled in size. Even Chip asked, “Really, mommy?” making his father laugh.

“So let's see...” Belle continued. “Chip and Rolland, you can both be buddies, yes? Neal and Gideon. And now, Mary, Wendy and Lilah.”

Lilah looked at Wendy with extreme distrust and grabbed Henry's hand much harder.

“But I want Henry,” she insisted.

“Lilah-”

“She can have Henry,” Wendy said, urgently. “I don't mind.”

“Girls, what did your mommies say about playing together?” Henry asked. “Lilah? Do you remember the conversation we had at home before the party?”

Lilah huffed and let go of his hand. “Fine.”

“Good, so now hold on to Wendy's hand,” her brother said.

Wendy didn't seem to like the prospect of holding on to Lilah any more than Lilah did, but she put out her tiny hand and the other girl grabbed it begrudgingly. Mary held on to her sister's other hand and looked over at Lilah as if she were a funny appendix that had just grown out of their little twin relationship.

Neal could foresee trouble.

“Good,” Belle approved. “Now, you guys can go and play. Go on.”

Gideon and Neal scurried back to the blocks they had just taken out of a tub. Chip and Rolland settled in a big armchair to continue to read. Wendy and Mary looked at Lilah, who stared right back.

“I want to play with Barbies,” Lilah announced.

Wendy looked at Mary, who shrugged.

“Fine! But I'm the fairy Barbie.”

“Yeah!” Mary agreed.

Lilah rolled her eyes and pulled them by the hand, much like she'd pulled Henry.

Belle looked at the other grownups. “That went well enough.”

“Easy for you to say,” Henry told her. “You're not the one stuck with a ticking time bomb.”

 

*

 

As soon as the season began, Neal shopped for an ugly Christmas sweater online: Tinker Bell with a Santa hood, floating against a dark green background. He thought Tink, who'd become quite fond of the ugly sweater tradition, would get a good laugh out of it and then hide that hideous thing out of sight. But she'd fallen in love with it and now refused to take it off. As he watched her from a distance, all he wanted was to pass an arm around her, ugly sweater and all.

He was putting together a plan to take her away from the Blue Fairy and Mary Margaret, and underneath the mistletoe, when David checked his phone and said, “Text from Emma. They're still chasing the Krampus down. But the good news is that it is definitely in the woods, so no reason for the kids to worry.”

“Yeah, great,” Neal said, distracted by his beautiful wife.

His father had sought refuge from the rest of the family with Chip and Rolland and was reading them a story, and Belle had been persuaded by her youngest son to join him and Neal in the construction of “the world's tallest tower of blocks”.

“We're supposed to have dinner without them,” David continued. “I'll tell Snow and set the table.”

Neal was about to offer help when a screeching voice said, “That is not true, Lilah!”

“Yes it is!” Lilah said, as Wendy glared at her. “Princesses are much more prettier than fairies!”

“Are not!”

“Are not!” Mary tagged along.

“Are too!”

“Are not!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Girls!” Henry said, making them stop. “Everyone is pretty. We've already had this discussion _last week_.”

“But princesses are prettier!”

“Fairies are prettier, Lilah!” Wendy protested.

“Fairies have wings, Lilah!” Mary said, as if that settled the argument.

“I'll show you!” Lilah said, and forced Wendy and Mary to their feet with a violent pull.

Snow and the women followed them closely with their eyes, awaiting to see if they'd have to stop a fight, but the little girls crossed the room to the chair where Rumple was sitting with Chip and Rolland, so they went back to their conversation.

“Uncle Rumpelstiltskin! Uncle Rumpelstiltskin!” Lilah called. She always made a point at calling him by his full name, believing that saying such a complicated word made her sound a little smarter than everyone else.

Rumple looked over the edge of the book at the three little girls, Lilah looking hopeful, Wendy and Mary looking frustrated that they'd been taken away from their dolls.

“What is it, dearie?” he asked.

“You know princesses and you know fairies!”

“Indeed I do.”

“Lots of them!”

“A considerable amount,” he conceded.

“Then who is the more prettier? Princesses or fairies?”

“Librarians,” he said, without batting an eye.

From her spot on the floor, Belle laughed and said, “Good answer!”

“You can't say librarians, granddad,” Wendy said, though Mary was giggling.

Rumple shook his head. “What a bias little poll you girls have going on. Don't you agree, Belle?”

“Indeed,” she said. “Librarians are just as pretty.”

“But princesses are delicate and have golden hair,” Lilah said, running her free hand through her locks.

“But fairies have wings!” Mary insisted.

“Yes! And they do magic!” Wendy added.

“And librarians have knowledge,” Belle said. “See? Everybody has something that makes them special.”

“But!” Lilah tried.

Belle didn't give her the chance. “Now, is anyone playing with those dolls, or should I put them away?”

“No, grandma!” Wendy protested. “We're playing!”

“From over there?”

The girls scurried back to their Barbies, just as Gideon and Neal's tower of blocks finally lost balance and fell down. The boys laughed and chanted, “Again! Again!”

Neal sighed. Now, why couldn't the girls get along like that?

 

*

“Ah ah ah!” Mary Margaret said, wagging a finger at Chip and Rolland. “I see what you're doing!”

The boys, who'd tried to sneak closer to the Christmas tree to snoop at the presents underneath it, giggled and ran away, as if the colorful packages weren't really the goal, but rather to deceive Mary Margaret's watchful eye.

“Do you want to be on Santa's naughty list?” she asked.

“What, like that'd be worse than a Krampus?” Neal whispered to his wife, who'd finally returned to the couch where he'd been sitting.

Tink said, “Do you think they're fine? You know, Emma and Regina.”

“Sure. They got their magic. And Robin has arrows. And Hook has... a hook. I'm sure that'll come in handy. Ooh, eggnog.”

Belle passed them their mugs. Tink took a sip of it and hummed with delight. “This is _amazing_!”

“What did you put in this?” Neal asked.

“Brandy.” Belle winked. “Best way to survive a lock down with seven kids and the entire family.”

“You're the best step-mother, ever.”

“I know.”

Neal looked over at the girls. For half an hour now, they'd been playing with minor outbursts that Henry had been able to handle. Blue and Rumple were the ones that currently worried him, since they'd somehow managed to get engaged in a pointless debate about the fundamentals of magic and were arguing rather ferociously, though in cautious tones.

“I better go save your dad,” Belle said. “Or keep him from murdering her.”

As she walked away, his eyes fell on David and Mary Margaret, who were sharing a kiss under the mistletoe.

“You see, that could be us,” Neal said.

Tink looked over, frowned, then said, “Nah, we're way cuter.”

The Nolans' happy moment was cut short by the beep of a timer.

“Oooh, turkey is ready!” Mary Margaret said, bending down to open the oven.

Tink asked him, “By the way, is the package safe?”

“Safe and sound, I'll check on it after dinner. Make sure the Krampus didn't eat it.”

She slapped his chest with a tiny hand. “That's not funny. It'd ruin Christmas.”

As if on cue, Mary Margaret's face fell. “Oh, no.”

“ _Exactly_!” Rumple exclaimed, finally leaving behind all composure. “ _And as long as you keep seeing the world in such black and white terms, you'll continue to behave like a self-righteous little_ -”

“Rumpelstiltskin, a word!” Mary Margaret shouted.

Rumple looked at Belle for help. She shook her head. “Oh, you're on your own. You promised to be nice.”

Rumple grumbled, but marched up to their hostess, probably to be reminded that his language wasn't suitable for children. Whispers were traded and his father's shoulders slumped. He sighed and signaled everyone into the kitchen.

“What is it?” Neal asked.

Mary Margaret opened her mouth to answer, but Rumple beat her to it. “Snow White has ruined dinner.”

“Hey!” David said.

“I didn't ruin anything! The turkey is just taking... forever to defrost.”

“And why is that, dearie?”

“...Because the oven died and I didn't see it. But in my defense-”

“I'm sure the children will be understanding about your defense,” Rumple told her.

“Can't you just, you know, use your magic?” Neal asked his father.

“If I could make food with the snap of my fingers, I would.”

Neal blinked at his father. “What, _cooking_ is the only limitation your magic powers have?”

“No!” Rumple said, offended that his son would suggest such a thing. “It's not a limitation, I just can't perform _miracles_.”

“It's a frozen turkey!”

“And if you wanted it defrosted in five minutes, that'd be fine. But something tells me that just overheating food for five minutes makes it _cooked_ , but doesn't make it _edible_!”

“We have salad,” Mary Margaret said, putting an end to the discussion.

Tink scoffed. “Good luck making the kids eat that.”

“What about the mashed potatoes?” Belle asked. “I made them myself.” In the silence that followed, she sighed. “I apologized for last year! Geez.”

“We have milk and cookies,” Henry said, all heads turning to him. “I'm sure the kids won't mind it.”

No one said anything.

“It's going to be fun, I'll tell them it's a special Christmas treat.”

Silence.

“Really, guys, it's not a big deal.”

“Shouldn't you be making sure your sisters don't kill each other?” Neal asked.

“They can survive twenty seconds without a chaperon-”

“ _Ow_!”

Henry's face fell. “Fine, I see your point.”

“Daddy!” Wendy cried out. “Daddy! Lilah bit me!”

Mary pointed a little finger at Lilah. “Yes, daddy! Lilah bit Wendy! I saw it!”

Henry marched back to the girls.

“Look, Henry!” Wendy shoved the hand that was still holding on to Lilah's up. There was the indent of little teeth on the back of it.

Henry sighed. “Lilah, what did mommy say about biting?”

“But Wendy didn't want to give me my Barbie!”

“You're mean! I don't want to play with you anymore!”

Wendy let go of her hand.

“I'm not mean! _You're_ mean! You stole my Barbie!”

“I did not! She wanted to come to my party!”

“Your party is stupid!”

“ _You're_ stupid!”

Henry was about to lose his temper and shout that everyone be quiet, or they'd be in timeout until the New Year, when the lights went out, drowning them in darkness. The children gasped in terror and the parents didn't waste time before calling their names.

The Blue Fairy was quick to wave her wand and produce a little light. Gideon came running to Belle's side, while little Neal ran to his mother. Chip and Rolland ran straight to Rumple. Lilah had jumped into Henry's arms. Tink rushed to collect Wendy and Mary from the floor and Mary sank her face on the crook of her neck, whimpering, “It's dark, mommy.”

“I know, love, it's alright. It's probably just the wind.”

Neal looked for his father, but he was already nodding to David, who announced, “We're going to check the fuse box.”

“You stay here,” Rumple told his son, after telling Chip and Rolland to hold on to Belle and not let go. “In case anything comes in.”

“Daddy, why are you taking your sword?” little Neal asked, alarmed and rather loudly, when David pulled his sword from a nearby umbrella holder.

Rumple glared at him. Way to be subtle.

“Reindeer,” David said. “They're vicious.”

Rumple pulled him angrily by the arm.

Mary was still whimpering, “Mommy, I'm scared.”

“There's no reason to be scared, sweetie. Remember what we talked about? Dark is only the absence of light.”

“But I _want_ light!”

Wendy, who'd been clinging to her mother as well, said, “It's okay, Mary- Mommy, what is daddy doing?”

Tink looked over at Neal, as he checked to see all windows were locked.

“He's... looking for Santa Claus.”

“Yes,” Neal agreed. “Santa Claus.”

“I want to see Santa Claus too!” Lilah said, trying to wriggle free of Henry's arms.

Henry all but shouted, “No!” When his little sister looked up at him, he said, “I mean, it's cold... near the window. You don't want to get sick.”

“Grownups are weird,” Chip whispered to Rolland, who nodded in agreement.

“Lets all go upstairs and put on our pajamas, yes?” Henry suggested. “And then we're going to have a special Christmas dinner with milk and cookies.”

“But it's dark!” Mary protested.

Wendy didn't seem any more willing to let go of Tinker Bell's neck, just as Mary Margaret didn't seem willing to let go of her son.

Belle, knowing that the kids would be safer upstairs, said, “I'll help you, Henry. Do you want to come with me, Mary?” Gideon squeezed her harder, afraid that his mother might put him down.

But Mary held on to Tink and wept.

“I'll come with you,” Tink said.

Belle nodded. “Yes, you _could_ do that, but what will we do in case _Santa_ comes? Wouldn't he want the help of a fairy?”

“...Probably. Okay, sweetie, you need to go with grandma now.”

“No.”

“It'll only be for a minute, sweetie-”

“No! It's dark!”

“I have a special light.”

All eyes turned to Lilah, who had perked up in Henry's arms.

“Mommy gave me a special light to sleep at night.”

“That's great, Lilah, but we don't have a special light for everybody.”

“Mary can sit with me and my special light.”

Mary looked up. Under the light of Blue's wand, Wendy frowned with fierce protectiveness and reached for her sister's hand.

“Mary always sits with me.”

Lilah seemed to consider it, then rolled her eyes. “Fine! You can sit with us, too.”

“Good. Then Mary and Wendy can come with me,” Henry said, scooping up his little sisters with one arm. He grumbled under their weight but carried them up rather easily as Belle gathered the boys up.

 

*

 

Lilah's special light was star-shaped rock that glowed pink and bright, something Emma had enchanted to help with her fear of the dark and that she carried everywhere. After putting on their pajamas, she sat on the carpet upstairs and held it in her tiny hands like a precious thing, saying that Mary couldn't hold it because it was too fragile, but that she could sit with her if she was afraid. Henry decided that was a good sign from a girl who hated sharing with a passion.

Mary sat to her right, staring at the light with curiosity. Wendy still held on to her hand and didn't seem so impressed, but refrained from any more fighting with Lilah. Belle had given her a colorful bandaid to put on her bitten hand, though it wasn't really necessary. It occurred to Henry that maybe if they had asked Mary to sit in between the two of them, things might have been easier from the get go.

“And it shines in the dark because my mommy is magical and she's super smart and she made it for me so I wouldn't be scared. And because I'm special,” Lilah said.

“Mommy put stars on the ceiling of our bedroom,” Mary said, excitedly, forgetting all about the darkness around them. “And it has a bright star where Blue is.”

“Blue is fun!”

“Yeah! Wendy likes Blue. She wants to be Blue for Halloween.”

Wendy grunted. She exchanged a look with Lilah.

“You have to be nice to be a fairy,” Lilah said. “Fairies don't steal dolls.”

“Well, princesses don't bite!” Wendy said.

In the silence that followed, Henry approached them. “And what do we say when we bite someone, Lilah?”

“But I've shown them my special light and I'm sharing!”

“Lilah...”

Silence.

Then, “I'm sorry I bit you.”

“And what do we say, Wendy?” Belle probed.

Wendy grumbled again, and it occurred to Henry that she had taken after her grandfather's grumpy mood, but she eventually said, “You're not stupid.”

Mary smiled in the glowing light. “I like it when you don't fight.”

Henry nodded, “Yes, it's much better when everyone gets along. Oh look, milk and cookies!”

Neal came in with a large tray of mugs and cookie plates and asked the children to gather around. While they were distracted by the food, he told Belle and Henry that the Krampus had caused mayhem at the power plant, but he was still miles away and no threat to the children. The entire town was without energy, so they might as well make do with flashlights and candles.

“Dad said he's sent Regina a text to get that fixed as soon as possible.”

Belle smirked. “And what did madam mayor say to that?”

“She told him to write her a memo and then shove it.”

“Sounds about right.”

After the initial chaos, the children seemed to have forgotten all about the darkness and were learning to have fun with it. Chip and Rolland made funny shades with the help of a flashlight, and Lilah and Wendy only had one more disagreement when both reached for the same cookie, and Mary solved that by herself by splitting the cookie in two.

On their way home, David picked up a couple of pizzas, which the children appreciated even more than the milk and cookies – and the grownups appreciated more than Belle's mashed potatoes. The lights remained dead for the rest of the night, but once the children fell asleep, all huddled in Henry's bedroom, Christmas became blessedly uneventful and quiet, as long as Rumple and the Blue Fairy didn't talk to each other.

Around 5am, Emma, Regina, Robin and Hook arrived, looking exhausted and scratched and in desperate need of a shower.

“I take it the Krampus put up a fight,” Neal asked, pulling himself from the chair where he had fallen asleep with Tinker Bell.

Regina said, “Yes. It did.”

“That thing was super fast!” Emma said, looking particularly terrible in her torn clothes and disheveled hair.

“Aye,” Hook agreed. “And it dressed in a ridiculous red suit and it had a beard.”

Neal raised a hand. “Wait, it actually looked like Santa Claus?”

Emma looked haunted. “It did. And I killed it.”

“You gotta let this go, Emma,” Regina said.

“I just stabbed Santa Claus with a sword, Regina. I'll be in therapy for the foreseeable future.”

From the couch, Rumple stirred awake, saw the dirty, exhausted people who had just walked in, and asked, “Oh. Are the lights back on?”

“Please tell me there are leftovers, that's the only thing that can save my Christmas,” Emma pleaded, while Robin held Regina back from punching the wizard.

David and Mary Margaret exchanged a look.

“There are cookies. And milk. And pizza. And eggnog with brandy,” her father said.

Emma's eyes welled up with tears. “That sounds _amazing,_ daddy. Thank you.” And she threw herself in his arms for a hug.

“She had a rough night,” Hook explained.

 

*

 

Once they were showered and fed, Belle and Tink went upstairs to wake up the children. It didn't take much more than mentioning the word “presents” and they came rushing down the stairs to find the packages underneath the tree.

Lilah jumped into her father's arms, screaming, “Daddy!” and then gave her mommy a hug, claiming, “I was good, mommy! Really good!”

Henry cleared his throat.

“I only bit Wendy _once_ and I apologized and I shared my special light with Mary.”

“Lilah...” Emma started.

Hook, hiding a grin behind a hand, said, “C'mon, love, it's Christmas.”

“You're going to spoil her rotten.” To Tink, she said, “I'm _so_ sorry.”

“It's alright. It seems like they're getting along much better since Mary started acting as their mediator.”

Mary, as the night before, sat between Wendy and Lilah as they unwrapped their gifts. Boxes were violently unwrapped to reveal an assortment of books, clothes, costumes, and toys. Lilah immediately changed into her new princess gown, brandishing a plastic sword that was a gift from her grandparents (“To lead your people,” Mary Margaret said). Mary was particularly excited about the new painting supplies, but was told to keep them in its box until they got home and had the chance to cover the entire house in plastic.

When all presents had been unwrapped and the children seemed ready to go back to playing, Neal came in with one final box, saying, “Look what Santa left outside, sweethearts.”

Mary and Wendy stared in awe as the box began to bark, and when they opened it together, there was a tiny little mutt puppy inside, waving it's little tail in a funny way.

“Daddy! Look! It's a puppy!” Wendy shouted.

“Puppy! Puppy!” Mary said, jumping.

The kids gathered around it as Wendy took it from inside the box with careful hands and her sister patted his head.

“He is so cute!” Chip squealed.

“Mommy, can I get a puppy too?” Lilah asked.

Before Hook could open his mouth, Emma said, “If you behave, you might get one for your birthday.”

“Mary, I'll get a puppy too!” she shouted, elated. “I'm going to get a girl and they can get married!”

“More puppies!” Mary shouted.

“How about we start by naming that one?” Neal said.

Wendy put it on the floor and the dog wobbled in unsteady steps, whining as it went.

“Your dog is funny,” Lilah said, but without trying to be mean.

“I know!” Wendy shouted, as if that was a source of great joy. “Isn't it amazing?”

“It's amazing!” Mary agreed.

“Oooh! I have a perfect name!” Wendy said. “It's the most perfect name ever!”

“What is it? What is it?”

“Zero!”

Tink frowned at Neal, who, in turn was looking at Henry.

Henry had gone pale.

Mary giggled though. “Zero is a perfect name because he's white!”

“He's so white and his nose is red!”

“Didn't I tell you not to show them this mov-” Neal started asking.

“I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm going to get pizza,” Henry said, disappearing before either Neal or Tink could scorn him.

“Alright, kids!” Mary Margaret said. “Lets put our toys away and get ready for breakfast. And, uhn, careful not to step on the puppy.”

At the mention of it, Mary gasped and picked Zero up in her arms. His legs waved in the air and he whined, confused as to why he wasn't moving anymore.

“Give him here, sweetie,” Tink asked. “Mommy will put him somewhere safe while you have breakfast.”

As the children scattered and the parents began picking things up, Neal came close to her and whispered, “So... it seems that I finally got you under the mistletoe.”

Tink looked up. “Oh, indeed you have. Close your eyes.”

Neal did so and puckered his lips. The next thing he knew, a cold nose sniffed him and then a tiny little tongue had assaulted his lips. He opened his eyes to find Zero's puppy eyes staring at him.

“Well... at least the dog likes me.”

Tink laughed and gave him a proper kiss.

 


End file.
